New Orleans Needs More Yorkie Bars, Fewer Fruit Dumplings in Custard

As the relief finally arrives in New Orleans, about a week late, foreign countries are doing what they can to help. One of the more surprising offers that has been accepted is a shipment of 500,000 army ration packets from Britain. British cooking has long been the butt of jokes told by Frenchmen and Italians. So what should hungry evacuees expect when they open up the packet?

First off, they’re getting 4,000 calories in three separate meals. These ration packets are designed to feed a man in his 20s in combat. There’s a need for lots of energy. For the average adult woman, 2,000 calories a day is about right, 2,500 for men. Americans, the fattest people on the planet according to US government statistics, will probably down the whole thing at once. However, there’s enough to last a couple of days.

And the good news, they will get food that has progressed beyond the “rat packs” handed out to squaddies in the service of the Queen back in the 1960s. The freeze-dried yucks have been replaced by vacuum-packed stuff that never had the water taken out. Naturally, that doesn’t apply to the powered orange drink mix, the dried vegetable stock or the hot chocolate. Clean water is at a premium in New Orleans still, but those who have been evacuated have enough for this purpose.

According to the Ministry of Defence, one such packet might contain a breakfast of bacon (what Yanks would call Canadian bacon) and baked beans. Lunch is high calorie crackers with a chicken and herb pate. There are boiled sweets, oatmeal blocks and fruit biscuits for snacks. Dinner is a bit flashier with three courses: French onion Cuppa Soup (add water), curried lamb with rice (boil in the bag), and fruit dumplings in custard for pudding (“dessert” to y’all). According to a BBC reporter who taste-tested it, “the result is more than passable and would put some instant supermarket snacks to shame. The curry is moist and while it cannot shed its processed taste, the meat has a reassuring solid texture.”

Still, the best part is the Yorkie chocolate bar. British chocolate in general compares favorably to the brown wax Hershey’s claims is chocolate (except for the “Symphony” bar which people at the company modeled on Yorkie). All the same, there is also a hot sauce packet that comes with a skull and crossbones on the label, which the BBC fellow didn’t try. One is willing to bet that the Cajuns will be a bit more adventurous.


© Copyright 2005 by The Kensington Review, J. Myhre, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent.
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