| Silly Folk Traditions |
3 February 2003
|
Groundhog Predicts War in Six Weeks
Americans have a silly folk custom, celebrated (if that is the word) on February 2 -- Groundhog Day. When first told of it, many Britons can't quite believe that such a thing has survived. Americans are equally incredulous at the persistence of Morris Dancing. Still, folk wisdom (oxymoron) has it that if the groundhog comes out of his hole and sees his shadow, winter will last six more weeks, if he doesn't, spring is just around the corner. Saddam Hussein needs one of these.
Punxatawney, Pennsylvania, is the most famous place with a groundhog (Punxatawney Phil by name) allegedly capable of weather forecasting beyond the ability of the National Weather Service, but it might be that Baghdad Bill has a future, too. Imagine being a bloodthirsty dictator with the blood of thousands upon one's hands wondering day and night if exile in Libya is preferable to seeing if President Bush the Younger really will kill thousands more to change regimes. How reassuring to get up one morning and watch Baghdad Bill come out of his hole, see his shadow, and in terror, return to his lair. Six more weeks of diplomacy. Yet, if he sees nothing, it is because the US Air Force is blotting out the sun, and war is just around the corner.
The best part though is, if Bill gets the answer wrong, he and his family can always be arrested, tortured, and forced to sign confessions before being shot, hanged, dismembered, etc. All without any complaints from Amnesty International, although PETA may whine a bit.