| Tying One On |
4 August 2003
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Ties Contribute to Glaucoma
Science has finally proved its value. A study published in the August issue of the British Journal of Ophthalmology showed a link between glaucoma and wearing neckties. Ties, of course, were invented by someone's mother in an attempt to make little boys presentable -- a task Sisyphus would understand. The evidence suggests that abolishing the things would be a healthy move. One always enjoys being proved right.
Robert Ritch, MD, chief of glaucoma services and surgeon director at the New York Eye and Ear Infirmary, who wrote the study was quoted on MSNBC.com as saying. "If you can't get your finger in between your neck and your collar easily, it's too tight."
Also quote on MSNBC.com was Harry A. Quigley, MD, of the Wilmer Eye Institute at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine who said, "It is simply common sense not to wear collars that are so tight that they cut off blood return from the brain. How many men tie their ties to the point of discomfort and leave them that way for prolonged periods?"
And how many women wear shoes that are too small, or teenagers in the 1980s who wore trousers too tight, or a thousand other things people do to achieve a "look." Fashion is folly most of the time. And it is the bane of human existence and a testimony to mankind's shallowness that looks matter to the degree that they do. At least now, when one opts not to wear a tie, one can take refuge in modern medicine. "Tie? No can't wear one. Doctor's orders."