| Orwell's Tears |
8 September 2003
|
Ronald McDonald -- Chief Happiness Officer
McDonald's new marketing campaign features Justin Timberlake, a new slogan, and more coordination of advertising efforts on a worldwide basis. Whether it will spark interest among jaded fast-food fans is unclear, but the appointment of a Chief Happiness Officer almost raised a smile, then a scream.
On 28 August, Mr. Ronald McDonald was appointed chief happiness officer in a press release attempting to be whimsical and meaningful. Written in a style all business readers have come to identify with the appointment of a fathead to a meaningless vice-presidency, McDonald's put a clown in the corner office.
It was cute until one started thinking about it.
It is not enough, apparently, for McDonald's to make money out of burgers and fries. They now want their customers, employees and suppliers to be happy. Anyone failing to be resolutely upbeat, not just content but downright happy, will have to answer to the clown.
Of course, if this sort of thing catches on, it can go on endlessly. High tech firms will have chief experience enhancement officers, credit card companies will appoint chief immediate gratification officers, and whoever owns the Los Angeles Dodgers' will have a chief optimism officer (formerly known as the executive vp for "Wait Till Next Year").
Business long ago abandoned being an economic function. It has become a psychological, sociological and cultural affair. It is not enough to make, distribute, sell and consume widgets -- people must be happy about it. They must identify with the firm, the endorsement, the brand. Making a good product and selling it at a respectable and fair price is dead. To its credit, McDonald's has the decency to tell the world that a clown is running that aspect of its enterprise. It is in the minority there.
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