US Air Force "Needs" Accordion Player

With all the "stop-loss" orders and the impending call-up of the reserves, it is interesting to note that the US Air Force's Strolling Strings, a musical ensemble, has been without an accordion player for two years. The search is on, and the requirements are daunting. Still, the great musical heritage of America is certain to provide the right man, or woman, for this very important job.

The trouble with being in the Air Force as an accordion player arises from two very distinct and not always complementary sets of needed skills. On the musical level, one must be able to play the squeeze-box. Militarily, Chief Master Sergeant Jane Bockenek, the Strolling Strings' music director and by most accounts a good fiddle player (violinist, rather), says, "They have to be under age 35, they have to fit our weight and fitness requirements, and they have to be able to get a security clearance."

This is where it gets dicey. Thanks to the whole rock 'n' roll, hip-hop fad that's been preventing America's youth from really getting into the accordion, under 35 accordion players are fewer than they once were. And the weight and fitness requirements are tougher for accordion players because, well, the parts of the country that specialize in accordion music tend towards fat. Naturally, the security clearance in the post-9/11 world goes without saying. A badly played accordion brings a whole new meaning to the word "terrorism."

One expects that inter-service rivalry will be enhanced by the Air Force's search. Right now, the Army is the only branch of the service with an accordion player, Sergeant Major Manuel Bobenreith, an 18-year man in the US Army's band. In an interview with CNN, Sergeant Bobenreith said, ""I consider myself lucky that I am the only accordion player out of more than 490,000 active-duty soldiers." So do the rest of the soldiers.

The world has a great deal of fun at the expense of accordion players, and frankly, they are every bit as talented musically as any other group of keyboard players. The use of accordion music in the US armed forces, though, remains inferior technology. So long as Scottish regiments wear kilts and play bagpipes, American PsyOps will run a distant second, accordion player or not.


© Copyright 2004 by The Kensington Review, J. Myhre, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent.


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