Stupidity Awards 2004 Honor Work in the Field of Being Stupid

The Just for Laughs festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, is a worldwide gathering of funny people that often overcomes the language barrier to bring everyone a little closer together with the uniquely human act of laughing. The festival closed last week with the Second Annual World Stupidity Awards. While the Kensington Review holds that awards are far too commonplace and award shows the bane of modern culture, this particular set of awards is worthwhile because it showcases true achievements of the 21st century -- excellence in the realm of willful stupidity.

Stupidity, of course, is not the same thing as being ignorant. Ignorant is merely lacking the facts, a very curable condition if one reads, listens, watches and otherwise pays attention. Stupidity, though, is a far more permanent condition. While it can express itself as a void of data, that is merely a symptom of not being able to decide what facts are relevant, how they relate to one another, and how one's own actions ought to be conditioned by the surrounding reality. It is no surprise, then, that Mr. Bush won Stupidest Man of the Year, but he had to share the Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet with Mr. Blair.

Not wanting to leave the other side out, Saddam Hussein received a lifetime achievement award, and rightly so. Here is a man who lost control of his country because he refused to prove to the world that he had obeyed UNSC resolutions, thereby, giving Mr. Bush the opportunity for his own awards. Meanwhile, Pfc. Lynndie England beat out Courtney Love, Martha Stewart, Anna Nicole Smith and Michael Jackson (not a misprint) for Stupidest Woman of the Year for her role as dominatrix of Abu Ghraib prison.

Moving away from politics, which is a fertile field, the Stupidest Movie Award resulted in a tie between Bennifer's "Gigli" and Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ," although "Scooby Doo 2" was nominated. The Stupidest Trend of the Year went to trucker hats, which beat out war, spam, climate change and terrorism. The Stupidest TV Show of the Year was "The O'Reilly Factor" which somehow beat out Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie's "The Simple Life," plastic surgery game show "The Swan," generally banal "Average Joe 2," and the bug-eaters' favorite "Fear Factor."

The Award for Stupidest Statement of the Year, however, was a travesty. Mr. Bush's "Major combat operations have ended in Iraq" didn't deserve the prize. Not in a year when Justin Timberlake said, "It was a wardrobe malfunction," Britney Spears said, "I do," and Howard Dean said, ""YYEEEAARRGHHHHH!!" The victor here should have been Jessica Simpson, who still wasn't in Private England's league. Ms. Simpson asked on national TV, "Nick, why does this Chicken By the Sea taste like tuna? Is it chicken or tuna?" For those who don't shop in American supermarkets, the product Chicken of the Sea is canned tuna -- for year's the company's jingle has contained the lines "What's the best tuna? Chicken of the Sea." Despite her clearly deliberate and practiced stupidity, Ms. Simpson earns many times more than nurses, teachers or New York city firefighters in a year, may vote (thus cancelling out the ballot of a person who has studied the issues) and sit on juries (undermining the American justice system).

Next year's Stupidity Awards nominations have already opened, and there will be an award for Stupidest Song. "Freek-A-Leek" by Petey Pablo may already have that locked up.


© Copyright 2004 by The Kensington Review, J. Myhre, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent.


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