Bent Like Beckham

18 October 2004


David Beckham Draws Deliberate Yellow, Everyone Cries “Foul”

David Beckham is soccer’s most famous face. Married to “Posh Spice” of the Spice Girls, rolling in glory form his days in the Premier League and rolling in cash now that he plays for Real Madrid, he’s got it all. Except for brains. He really must learn that the secret to getting away with something lies in not bragging about it to the press afterwards. Since he is an unknown in the US, this might just be one instance in which the Americans are showing greater sense than their European cousins.

The kerfuffle arose out of the England-Wales soccer match for the World Cup 2006. This qualifier went to England 2-0, but the real story was of Mr. Beckham, who already had a yellow card in the round. He also seems to have a cracked rib, and with Einsteinian logic, he figured that he should commit another foul bad enough for a second yellow card. Two yellow cards would mean a one-game suspension, and he was going to miss the next match against Azerbaijan with his injury anyway. So, he fouled Ben Thatcher rather blatantly, and his yellow card was granted.

To this point, Mr. Beckham was only engaged in some gamesmanship, which unsporting though it was, did have a perverse sense of sensibility about it. Far better had he decided simply to play cleanly for the rest of the tournament, but he clearly isn’t bright enough to opt for the simple solution.

Mr. Beckham, then, proceeded to tell the press about his clever move. The next thing he knew, not only was it all over the back pages (where his face turns up more often than it should anyway), but it was also in the hands of FIFA, the world soccer federation. Chief muckymuck there, Sepp Blatter, a jellyfish of a man, passed the buck to the English Football Association, which has no interest in punishing its own captain. Actually, the term should be “no interest in punishing him more.” He now has damaged his reputation, lost respect, and has shortened his tenure as captain of the English Side – when Wayne Rooney hits 21, Mr. Beckham will be a has-been.

The only fellow to come out of this looking halfway decent is Mr. Thatcher. He told the press, "I don't want him [Beckham] banned or censored, or for there to be this outcry," "He didn't hurt me. He's not a dirty player. The sooner Fifa step out of it then, it's finished. As far as I'm concerned it's finished." Then, he added with a bit of his own gamesmanship, “I would rather face Beckham than mark Shaun-Wright Phillips when we play England again. "Have you seen how fast Shaun runs?"

© Copyright 2004 by The Kensington Review, J. Myhre, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent.

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