Madame Tussaud’s Nativity Scene Offends Religious Establishment

Given the religious history of the British Isles, it takes something quite special to bring together the Church of England, the Vatican and Kirk of Scotland. After all, the legacy of Jesus Christ hasn’t. But Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum in London has achieved unity among the faithful. Using the museum’s amazingly accurate replicas of modern celebrities, a simple nativity scene has most church leaders shaking their heads, or worse.

Wax museums are, by definition, tacky no matter how good the quality of the figures. That, however, isn’t what has the Archbishop of Canterbury’s knickers in a twist. He objects to David Beckham British soccer star (former star in Kensington’s opinion) being cast as Joseph, while his wife Victoria (“Posh Spice” of the late and unlamented Spice Girls) is Mary. No word whether their child, legally named “Brooklyn” after the place he was conceived, has the starring role. Adding insult to injury, Aussie pop star Kylie Minogue (who’s career should have been over a good 20 years ago) is an angel, while Samuel L. Jackson, Hugh Grant and Graham Norton got to be shepherds.

The Archbishop’s office stated "There is a tradition of each generation trying to re-interpret the nativity but, Oh Dear…" A Vatican official told Reuters, “"You cannot use contemporary personalities as the central figures of the nativity ... And it becomes worse, if that were possible, if the people may be of questionable moral standing." Mr. Grant’s dalliance with a Brazilian prostitute got him some negative headlines, but one wouldn’t think it meant he was beneath being a minder of sheep. And the Kirk of Scotland, better known as the Presbyterian denomination outside the northern kingdom, stated dourly, "The waxwork will cause offence to many and should be pulled down." Despite thinking the whole thing was “just pathetic,” Paul Handley, editor of the Anglican Church Times, did try to offer some perspective, “God is not going to worry. He is going to cope -- but it is a bit depressing."

Madame Tussaud’s, like every public institution these days, apologized for any offense. And then stated, “We are not suggesting for one minute these celebrities actually represent the biblical characters themselves and we are sorry if it has been misconstrued as such." The tableau was offered tongue-in-cheek and most of the response from visitors has been positive according to the people there.

For what it’s worth, the truth appears to lie somewhere in between. Mr. Handley is spot on; God will manage but really. At the same time, one has to accept the validity of Madame Tussaud’s statement that the celebrities in question couldn’t possible represent the biblical characters. Indeed, no one of any intelligence could think otherwise. After all, Tony Blair, George Bush and the Duke of Edinburgh were cast as the wise men.

© Copyright 2004 by The Kensington Review, J. Myhre, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent.

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