“Focus on the Family” Attacks Cartoon Character SpongeBob Squarepants

Long ago, the sensibilities of the American cartoon-viewing public were offended by an under-achiever who was proud of it – Bart Simpson. Just as the country came to grips with him, two losers named “Beavis and Butthead” pushed the envelope farther. Barely had the conniptions faded than the foul-mouthed third-graders of “South Park” debuted. These cartoons have undermined the sanity of some Americans so severely that a right-wing, social reactionary bunch called Focus on the Family says SpongeBob Squarepants is being used to advance the gay agenda.

For those without children, SpongeBob Squarepants is a sponge – “absorbent and yellow and porous is he” according to his theme song. He lives in Bikini Bottom, which is at the bottom of the ocean, next-door to Patrick Starfish. He works at the Krusty Krab fast food shack, and he enjoys the simple things in life immensely. He is also the most popular cartoon merchandise license going.

Mr. Squarepants appears in a new video, a remake of the Sister Sledge “We Are Family,” which fans of the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team adopted as their theme song back in the 1970s when late Willy Stargell was their leader. The video also includes other Nickelodeon Network cartoon characters like “Bob the Builder,” targeted at pre-schoolers who like heavy machinery. The song, according to Nile Rodgers, the all-round musical genius who wrote the song and whose We Are Family Foundation tries to teach kids tolerance of others, said, “We believe that this is the essential first step to loving thy neighbor. And the fun and exciting format makes it a lesson that's easy for children to learn.”

Unfortunately, the people at Focus on the Family don’t like Mr. Squarepants because he and Mr. Starfish hold hands on occasion. "We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," said spokesman Paul Batura, in a New York Times interview. It is not recorded whether the reporter told him he was being a jackass.

SpongeBob is funny, but Focus on the Family is really hilarious. According to its own website, “Focus on the Family's primary reason for existence is to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ . . . ” It is unclear how a sponge holding hands with a starfish is contrary to the teachings of the Nazarene. Moreover, sponges can reproduce asexually, so Focus on the Family needs to produce some evidence of this lurid affair before one is quite prepared to believe them. As a spokesman for the We Are Family Foundation said, if people really believe this piffle, they need “to visit their doctor and get their medication increased."

In modern day America, surely there are bigger problems for a group such as Focus on the Family to address. For example, what about all those Warner Brother cartoons where Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam and Daffy Duck don dresses at one point or another?

© Copyright 2005 by The Kensington Review, J. Myhre, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent.

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