Canadian Government Secures Surprise Win in World Stupidity Awards

Regular readers will know this journal views awards ceremonies with loathing. With a couple of exceptions, they are times for the self-absorbed to pat one another on the back. However, last Friday, the 2005 World Stupidity Awards were handed out at "Just for Laughs, the Montreal International Comedy Festival" in Quebec. The Kensington Review wholeheartedly ascribes to the motto of sponsoring body, the Academy Recognizing Stupidity Everywhere [ARSE]; “The Academy believes that everybody is stupid, some people just need to have it pointed out.” And so, the winners are:

In the competition for stupidest government of the year, the nominees were Iran, North Korea, the US, the UN and host country Canada. Thanks to the Gomery Inquiry into a government sponsorship scandal and the horribly inept response of the Prime Minister and his crew, Canada beat out the others. “Canadians often feel we're in the shadow of the US, especially when it comes to stupidity, but now we're proving we're world class," said Robert Spence, spokesman of the awards said. “And as host country, who could ask for more?"

However, America didn’t walk away empty handed. President Bush won for Stupidest Statement of the Year with, “They [Al Qaeda] never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we.” Darth Vader accepted on the absent president’s behalf. And Paris Hilton, American, won in two categories: Stupidest Woman of the Year and Stupidest TV Show of the Year, “The Simple Life.”

The male counterpart to Ms. Hilton’s solo award, “The Stupidest Man of the Year” went to conservative columnist Ann Coulter, whose stupidity is of a clearly masculine variety. She beat out President Bush, US Senator John Kerry, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman and Players Association director Bob Goodenow [joint nominees], and former Ukrainian president Leonid Kuchma. As much as one doubts Ms. Coulter’s intellectual abilities, one can’t help but think that Messrs. Bettman and Goodenow might have won had they been a single person.

The other winning efforts were: Ashlee Simpson's lip-synching performance on "Saturday Night Live" for Dumbest Moment of the Year; “Alien vs. Predator” for Stupidest Movie of the Year; Crystal meth for Stupidest Trend of the Year (which unfortunately has been in the running for a very long time); North Korean dictator Kim Jong for Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet; Fox News for Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance; and “The World Stupidity Awards” for Stupidest Award Show of the Year. However, the latter category seems to have been rigged.


© Copyright 2005 by The Kensington Review, J. Myhre, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent.
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