Remember, Remember

6 November 2006



Bonfire Night Wrecked by Nanny State

Bonfire Night, or Guy Fawkes’ Night, commemorates the foiling of a Catholic plot to blow up Parliament. “Remember, remember the Fifth of November/Gunpowder, treason and plot./ I see no reason why gunpowder, treason/Should ever be forgot” goes the children’s rhyme. Fireworks and bonfires the night of November 5 are quite appropriate given the role black-powder played in British history. Thanks to the way the Nanny State has begun over-managing things, perhaps, Mr. Fawkes should have succeeded.

Back in the good old days, before Mr. Blair’s anti-social behavior crackdown, kids would stuff some old clothes with rags to make an effigy and lay the “Guy” on the street, asking passersby, “Penny for the Guy?” The donations were spent on fireworks (and sweets, one may as well admit), and the guy wound up tossed on one of the many bonfires that burned around the country, while baked potatoes were eaten, and the hip flasks were drained.

Well, no bloody more. Mick Hume of The Times writes, “a Devon rugby club is showing a video projection of a bonfire at its fireworks party to avoid the costs of meeting health and safety regulations. Our local school has cancelled its display, because of a shortage of ‘trained firework lighters’ (how long is that course?) and new guidelines on how far fireworks should be from people. We are a long way from the common sense advice on the old family fireworks box to ‘Light the blue touchpaper and retire immediately’.” The same kind of nonsense has wrecked July 4 in the US – what would John Adams say? And Australia’s celebrations of Guy Fawkes Night (“Cracker Night” in the local tongue) was snuffed out when state governments banned the sale of fireworks in the 1970s and 1980s.

Mr. Hume adds, “We also used to sing a song about building a bonfire, with ‘The teachers on the top/Put the prefects in the middle and burn the bloody lot’. I hope that has been banned as incendiary hate-speech, if not for failing to comply with health and safety guidelines.” Indeed, as anyone who understands the situation knows, the prefects go on the bottom (they make better kindling, little traitors), the teachers in the middle and the administration on top, where it’s hottest.

Well, forget about “a penny for the Guy.” The penny won’t buy anything anymore; a pound barely does. Moreover, standing on a street corner asking for spare change will get one nicked by the local constabulary – and a lovely little fine to go with the trip to the police station.

So, by all means, “remember, remember, the fifth of November,” because the next generation won’t have anything to recall about it.

© Copyright 2006 by The Kensington Review, Jeff Myhre, PhD, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent. Produced using Fedora Linux.


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