“National Bingo Night” Hits New TV Low in America

Newton Minnow famously said, “When television is good, nothing is better. But when television is bad, nothing is worse. I invite you to sit down in front of your TV set and keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that you will observe a vast wasteland.” Yes, children, TV used to go off late at night. With the arrival of “National Bingo Night” on ABC, one can only hope the idea of “sign-off” returns.

As anyone who has ever been to a church in America other than on a Sunday knows, Bingo is one of the simplest and dumbest games ever invented. It lacks the thoughtful strategy of Tic-Tac-Toe, it has none of the tense anticipation of Candyland, and it lacks the interaction among participants of Old Maid or Go Fish. It is, rather, an excuse to get out of the house in the evening and talk to neighbors and friends, rather like going to the pub in Britain. It is not the premise of great television. One needs only compare past to present to see the low-tide mark this represents.

Mr. Minnow made his famous declaration at the National Association of Broadcasters convention on May 9, 1961. That happened to be a Tuesday, and thanks to some obsessive TV fans and a decent search engine, one can note that night American TV broadcast an episode of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” on NBC followed by a horror anthology called “Thriller” that Stephen King says was the greatest of its type. CBS offered “The Red Skelton Show,’ and ABC showed “Alcoa Presents: One Step Beyond.” On other nights of the week, there were: “The Ed Sullivan Show,” “GE Theatre,” “The Jack Benny Show,” “Naked City,” “The Untouchables,” “77 Sunset Strip,” “Route 66,” “The Twilight Zone,” and “Gunsmoke.” Some wasteland.

In a time of “reality TV,” there are talent contests galore, staged dramas among the dysfunctional, and a game show that suggests some Americans know less than a 10-year-old (well, who’s surprised?). Yet, Bingo is the lowest of the low. Even “Deal or No Deal” requires a certain calculation of odds and shows the usual human struggle between hopeful greed and cautious greed.

Worse, “National Bingo Night” isn’t really even Bingo as most know it. The contestant has to guess whether the number he will select will be higher or lower than the one that preceded it, thus building a jackpot. Meanwhile, the audience has bingo cards and the contestant loses everything if someone shouts out “Bingo” when the usual criteria for such a shout are met. One hesitates to say that this is the worst program imaginable because every time that claim is made, TV programmers come up with something worse. Can’t they be stopped? Can’t America bring back the good old days when, at very least, the networks stopped broadcasting for a few hours? Or must one commit the ultimate heresy and turn the damned thing off to go read?

© Copyright 2007 by The Kensington Review, Jeff Myhre, PhD, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent. Produced using Fedora Linux.

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