Fake New York Times Hits Street

On Wednesday, a special edition of the New York Times hit the streets that announced the end of the war in Iraq-Nam. Commuters received the 14-page special edition for free. Only it wasn't really the NYT. One could tell because the date was July 4, 2009 and because there weren't any Macy's ads. Instead, it was a liberal wish list from The Yes Men, Code Pink, Improv Everywhere, The Anti Advertising Agency and a few others.

Some of the headlines and news-in-brief bits were absolutely hilarious: “Maximum Wage Law Succeeds,” “Nation Sets Its Sights on Building Sane Economy,” and “Nationalized Oil to Fund Climate Change Efforts.” Others were quite plausible: “Iraqi Refugees Worldwide Celebrate Withdrawal,” “Crumbling Infrastructure Brings Opportunities,” and “Congress Returns Civics to High School Curriculum.”

Then, the editorial page was more an attack on the real NYT than on anything political. Filthy rich blowhard Thomas J. Friedman allegedly wrote an op-ed piece in which he says that in light of peace and such that he was so wrong about things that “I have no business holding a pen, at least with the intent to write.” Another, from the editorial board, is called “We Apologize.” It enumerates the pro-war knuckle-headedness of the paper for stirring up war fever in the form of Judith Miller's “reporting” and the recent appearance of William Kristol as a regular contributor with numerous other stupidities in between.

There were ads, just not from Macy's, and they certainly weren't genuine. An ad from KBR, a company that has made billions in Iraq-Nam without actually accomplishing anything, covers the entire back page. It promises to get used to the new world by building hospitals, schools and municipal buildings. The very things it was supposed to do and has failed at doing in Iraq-Nam. ExxonMobil has all of page 3. “As Exxon finds itself under federal oversight, we are more than happy to use our profits to develop sustainable, decentralized energy production.” Finally, a smaller ad from DeBeers says, “Your purchase of a diamond between now and 2026 will help fund the creation, fitting and maintenance of a prosthetic for an African whose hand was lost in one of that continent's brutal conflicts over diamonds.”

The masthead stated that the NYT was founded in 2009, suggesting that the old and rather miserable state of the paper today (the Washington Post and Los Angeles Times are quite a bit better in virtually every respect) requires a re-launching of the NYT. A three column list of writers and researchers includes: T[horsten]Veblen (left-wing author of The Theory of the Leisure Class published in 1902), W[illiam] Wilberforce (the British abolitionist of the 19th century) and Wilfred Sasoon (meaning Wilfred Owen and Siegfried Sassoon, two of Britain's War Poets who described the awfulness of World War I).

As practical jokes go, this is almost as big as the re-election of George “LBJ” Bush. And it was certainly funnier.

© Copyright 2008 by The Kensington Review, Jeff Myhre, PhD, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent. Produced using Fedora Linux.

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